“The love of God does not distinguish between the newly conceived infant still in its mother’s womb, the baby as youth, the grown adult or the elderly, because in each of them He sees the sign of His own image and likeness.” - Pope Benedict XVI
HAMMOND – Parents, siblings and grandparents shined a light on the loss of their children through miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death as candles were lit at the annual Pregnancy and Infant Loss Memorial Mass hosted by the Diocese of Gary on May 3 at St. John Bosco.
Calling the Mass “a sign of the hope of Christ in the darkest night,” Bishop Robert J. McClory thanked the grieving families for their attendance. “It’s not easy,” he noted. “(But) today you can know that your little ones are not rejected … we are gathered here for the children gone too soon.”
At the beginning of the Mass, the names of all children registered in advance by their families with the Miscarriage, Mothers and Others group were read aloud in a Litany of Remembrance as candles were lit for each of them. “This is a way to remember these children, whose families never forget them and still grieve,” said Jill McNamara, MMO founder and president.
“The Sunday before Mother’s Day is commemorated as Bereaved Mother’s Day, and we try to host this Mass on that date whenever possible,” explained Father Rick Holy, diocesan director of prolife activities and pastor at St. Edward in Lowell. “When you think of mothers who have lost children, their grief and sadness still remains, and we are here to support them in their grief. The children they lost matter not just to them, but to the Catholic Church.”
In his homily, Bishop McClory focused on the words of Jesus in the Gospel reading for the day, John 21: 1-19, specifically his reference to “preparing a place for you” in the future. Referring to the continuation of Christ’s Resurrection season, the bishop said, “We can ask ourselves, ‘why did He have to go through all of that?’ Beside the theological reasons, the cross is the place to put our faith. The Lord is not on the cross anymore, but it is a place to say (that) my suffering, that pain, for the child I held in my womb or anticipated, is still real. The Lord has a bigger plan; he is preparing a place for us.”
While Jesus can be seen as a savior, redeemer, messiah and Lord of Lords, “today, his nesting instincts are on display, said Bishop McClory. “He is the eternal homemaker,” and tells us not to be troubled, but to have faith in the Father and in me.
“When we entrust our little ones to the Lord, (it is) with great confidence, because he has already prepared a place for them,” said the bishop, adding that Jesus also said, “I’ll come back, and take you, so you will know the way. I am the way and the truth and the life.”
“It’s okay to feel pain,” Bishop McClory said, “but we have confidence that the Lord has led the way and we can trust in him. We look at these candles of hope for the little ones and all of us and know that Jesus has prepared the way.”
Rick and Anna Gard, of Cedar Lake, wore special shirts as they honored their twin sons, Garrett and Cohen, lost through miscarriage just last year. “We wanted to get a candle for each of them,” said Rick Gard, accompanied by their infant daughter and grandparents.
Iliana Fonseca, attending with her husband, Julio Fonseca, and the couple’s two daughters, Xochitl and Yaretzi, shed tears as she remembered her son, Julio Camilo Fonseca, who died three days after his birth in 2014. Yet she was able to smile at a cherished memory of her infant. “I remember his ears, which were folded over; I called them ‘taco ears,’” she recalled.
“It’s wonderful that we are taking this very poignant liturgy to every corner of the diocese (by rotating the Memorial Mass among parishes),” said Father Jeffrey Burton about hosting this year’s Mass. “We have become a very young Church, so this remembrance has to be close to the hearts of our people.”
Caption: Bishop Robert J. McClory comforts parents Julio and Iliana Fonseca, of Munster, as he presents them with a lit candle in remembrance of their son, Julio Camilo Fonseca, who died in 2014, three days after his birth. The couple, with their two daughters, attended the annual Pregnancy and Infant Loss Memorial Mass hosted by the Diocese of Gary on May 3 at St. John Bosco in Hammond. (Marlene A. Zloza photo)
