HIGHLAND – In February 1988, funeral director Frank J. Kish, co-owner of Burns-Kish Funeral Homes in Northwest Indiana, was killed in an elevator accident at one of the business’s funeral homes. Mourning the sudden loss for her husband, Pat Kish began looking within the community for grief information and support to help her, their five children, her brother, Tom Burns, and her parents who lived in the building.
Finding nothing local, Pat Kish turned to national funeral service agencies. ACCORD, Inc. in Louisville, Ky., was the first to provide some resources and support. In time, the help and the healing brought her to the realization that what she had acquired in resources, teaching and experience, she could somehow provide to her communities “…so that no one else would ever have to go through this so alone and uninformed.” A grief support program began to take shape.
The Wounded Healers Grief Support Program offers comfort to people grieving the death of someone special by providing information, resources and the companionship necessary to heal, change and restructure their lives. The program is nondenominational, open to anyone searching for help while coping with the loss of a loved one.
“In 1988, when my husband was killed in an accident, we really struggled through the days and months that followed because there was no one to help us understand what we were experiencing; no one to tell me, my children and other family members that we needed to grieve in order to heal, and that grieving was a long, lengthy, complicated process,” founder Pat Kish was quoted as saying. “We needed information so we would feel less helpless; we needed to share with other people who could understand and accept us as we were (not as they thought we should be).”
As Kish’s family emerged from the initial grief, she knew she needed to take all the experiences, resources and knowledge she had gained from working with specialized national agencies to create a grief support program and present it to the community.
Pat Kish passed away on May 30, 2024. And the local chapter of Wound Healers had to stop meeting for two years during the pandemic. It started again in 2022 with most of the members returning. The groups are still the same and the format remains similar – a short video of about 20 minutes is shown followed by attendees breaking up into like-loss groups for about an hour.
The Northwest Indiana chapter of The Wounded Healers has three series every year: spring, summer and fall.
Cindy Huddleston’s father passed away in the beginning of March 2023 at the age of 98. They were very close, and his passing was extremely difficult for the Dyer resident. She found that it was hard for her to grieve. “In fact, I was afraid to allow myself to grieve and would shut down any feelings that would start to appear,” she said. “I know that part of the reason for this fear was due to what I went through in 2007.”
Huddleston lost her brother in July 2007 and three weeks later, she lost her mother in August 2007. At that time, she was living in Chicago and was not aware of any grief support groups in the area or even that they existed. Huddleston went into a major depression that was affecting all aspects of her life.
Huddleston attended the summer series of The Wounded Healers and, with its help, was able to begin her journey of processing the grief for her father in a healthy manner.
“I didn't realize at the time that during these meetings, I was also beginning to process the loss of my brother and mother,” she said. “By the end of the summer series I had the tools and a support system which removed my fear about grieving. I came back then for the fall series to process more in depth the losses of my brother and mother.”
After experiencing a number of consecutive deaths, which included her younger sister and two dear friends, Catherine Langel had noticed an invitation in the Sunday church bulletin to attend Wounded Healers. The program was free and close to home.
“I attended the first session and those offered that followed,” said the Highland resident. “The rest is history. From participating as a griever to becoming an acting facilitator, it gives me great pleasure to be a Wounded Healer.”
Langel believes The Wounded Healers has been successful because it provides several groups for accommodating individual losses. She explained the professional films that relate to the many emotions often shared by grievers, and the topics shared promote conversation that touch on initial loss proceeding through sadness, anger, guilt, depression, loneliness and more. All of the groups are led by facilitators who previously went through similar circumstances.
“Facilitators are sympathetic, engaged listeners,” Langel said. “That is perhaps the single most important aspect we facilitators offer. One of the most misunderstood aspects of grieving is that ‘other’ individuals do not understand the depth of loss those possess who are suffering. Wounded Healers offers a shoulder to cry on while also providing information for moving toward a new normal.”
Rose Magiera has been a volunteer for The Wounded Healers for 32 years. She came as a griever in 1992 and was greeted with kindness, compassion and hope. She learned about the grieving process and began to understand that death and grief are a part of the human experience.
“I wasn't crazy. . . I was grieving,” Magiera shared. “And being in a group with people who are on their own grief journeys, sharing our stories, meant I wasn't alone in my grief. It's amazing how healing it can be to just tell your story to a group of people who are listening with gentleness and understanding.”
Magiera was so impressed by the facilitators and their dedication to helping people that she eventually asked if she could become one of them. Since then, after being trained, she has facilitated the Loss of Parent, Sibling, and Friend group.
“We do our best to educate our grievers and to walk with them as they experience the many challenges of the grieving process,” she said. “It is a fulfilling role to play – to see our grievers grow from the first meeting until the last. By the fourth or fifth meeting, they begin to smile and maybe even laugh a little. It's wonderful to see the positive changes in them.”
Meetings are held on scheduled Wednesday evenings from 7-8:30 p.m. at St. James the Less, 9640 Kennedy Ave. in Highland. Two more sessions in the summer series are scheduled for July 23 and Aug. 6. The fall series will begin Sept. 10. For more information, visit woundedhealers-nwi.com.
Other local support groups:
St. Thomas More School, Munster, Rainbows for All Children for children in kindergarten through fourth grade who have lost a loved one to death or other circumstances. To register a child, email Emily Hackett at ehackett@stm-school.com.
St. Matthias, Crown Point, Widows and Widowers Ministry meets at 1 p.m. the fourth Thursday of the month in the double classroom (Cancelled for July due to parish garage sale). Social gathering is usually offsite on the second Thursday of month; call (219) 663-2201.
Diocese of Gary, Merrillville, Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide Support Group, sponsored by Catholic Charities, 7-9 p.m. on the first Thursday of every month in the narthex of the main church at St. John the Evangelist, St. John. Call Kris and Jim Kazmierczak at (219) 690-1268 for more information or LOSS director Deborah Major at (312) 655-7285 to register.
