CROWN POINT – Coming from a group no one wants to join, the Catholic Widows and Widowers at St. Matthias have found an understanding circle to cherish and appreciate.
“I am making new friends,” said Linda Miller, a Crown Point resident and St. Matthias parishioner who lost her husband one year ago. “I like it for the companionship, someone to talk to who is also grieving, someone to see at church.”
For Pat Mroczkowski, who also belongs to the Blue Army Rosary group, it has been 16 years since the loss of her spouse. “We get together with other grieving people, which is comforting,” she said. “We can put names with faces when we see each other at church.”
The Catholic Widows and Widowers, who meet at St. Matthias’ parish center at 1 p.m. on the fourth Thursday of the month for a business meeting and guest speaker and offsite for a social gathering on the second Thursday of the month, were founded by Tillie Bryan in January. “Five of us met three times to organize the group, and as of September we have 26 registered members,” she said.
“It’s all about telling your story – everyone has one – and we just need someone to listen,” Bryan added. “Family is important, and I feel like we are family.”
At the August business meeting, Vern Hein presented a program on the history of the Town of Merrillville. “I’ve lived there all my life, and I know a lot about it,” he said. “I tried to make it interesting.”
On Sept. 26, Father John Scott detailed his ministry as a chaplain at Indiana State Prison in Michigan City, talking about the humanity of the men he worked and prayed with for 12 years.
“I learned on the spot,” Father Scott said, “and I had three (inmate) clerks who told me when a fellow prisoner asked for me because they wanted to use me, or when they were sincere. ‘This guy needs help, so anything you can do would be good,’ they would tell me.”
A prison “is like a microcosm of a city, with marriage problems, work problems … I said Mass every morning, but I met with any man who asked me. I tried to keep things at an even keel and prepare the men to get out into the real world,” Father Scott said.
The senior priest, who retired in 2013 from St. Thomas in Knox, said he applauds the ministry bringing surviving spouses into fellowship. “It’s important that we seniors get together and don’t just step off the planet as we get older,” he noted. “We have things to share with each other.
“When priests retire and don’t mix with others, life goes downhill. We all need interaction, and because your spouse dies does not mean that you die. You still have things to share, and you need a purpose,” Father Scott stressed.
“This is a very active parish, but there was nothing specifically for the widowed,” said Betty Shahbaz, who lost her husband 14 years ago. “I moved to Fishers after my husband’s death, but what I missed most was St. Matthias and the people, and I moved back within a year. This ministry has been wonderful.”
Hebron resident Marilyn Germek sends birthday cards to Catholic Widows and Widowers members. “My husband died in 2021, and the loss was tremendous, but I thank God for friends and family, my two daughters and my grandchildren,” she said. “I went through the HOPE Ministry here at St. Matthias, and now I have this group of friends to help me.”
Vern Hein, who became a widower seven years ago, “jumped right in” when the ministry started. “I try to get out of the house and stay active, because there are too many memories at home. I joined the American Legion, and the Moose Lodge, and I attend Lake County Plan Commission meetings, and then I joined this group.”
“Our mission is to grow in our faith and have fun doing it,” Bryan said. “I believe there should be a ministry like this in every parish, and I’d like to connect with the parish youth group, both with the whole groups and one-on-one. We have so much to offer each other.
“We had a great picnic at Tillie’s home on Sept. 12; it was just lovely,” said Mroczkowski. “Sometimes we go out to eat, or just get together and talk for our social gathering.”
“I hope to have a Christmas party,” said Bryan, “and we’d like to have a retreat, too, and a healing service. Our group is open to all widows and widowers, any age, and from any parish.”
For information on joining the Catholic Widows and Widowers, call the parish office at 663-2201.