VALPARAISO – “Quo Vadis? Where are you going?” The question St. Peter asked of Jesus was the same question proposed to a group of seminarians and discerners during a three-day retreat on the grounds of Camp Lawrence.
The retreat, “Quo Vadis? Where Are You Going?”, was sponsored by the Diocese of Gary’s Office of Vocations and was led by vocations directors Father Nate Edquist, Father Ivan Alatorre and Father Roque Meraz. Seven discerners and eight seminarians, ranging in age from 16-24 years old, had an opportunity to bond during the retreat held Aug. 2-4.
Father Edquist explained that the retreat’s theme is based on St. Peter’s encounter with Jesus just outside Rome as Peter was leaving the area due to the persecutions by the Emperor Nero around 60 A.D. According to tradition, St. Peter asked Jesus, “Where are you going, Lord?” Jesus responds that he is going to Rome to be crucified again. Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, then returns to continue preaching and is eventually crucified upside down.
“Normally, we would think that the question is more directed to these guys, like, where are you going in life?” said Father Edquist. “We're trying to share with these young men here to get themselves to ask the question to Jesus, ‘Where are you going, Lord, so that I can follow you?’”
Father Edquist described the three days as a fraternal retreat, where those discerning could bond with the seminarians and get a real-life glimpse of seminary life. “It's a fraternal retreat with silence and meditation mixed in to help guys to listen to the voice of God,” he said.
The group spent time delving into scripture, participating in group discussions and meditation – along with playing a few games.
The group watched the film “Love God's Will,” which follows Father Ryan Stawaisz’s journey from a promising career as a petroleum engineer to being called by God to the priesthood. Weeks before his ordination, Stawaisz was re-diagnosed with cancer and eventually died nearly two years after being ordained. During those two years, his desire became not only to do God's will, but to love God's will.
“I thought that would be a good theme for this year's retreat – the love of God's will, not just to accept it, but to grow to love it,” said Father Edquist.
“It's very important that when you're discerning, that you don't just discern like it's all up here. Discernment doesn't just happen within your head and in your own heart because then you're leaving out the horizontal dimension,” he said. “So, you need to talk with others, you need to get to know others, you need to form relationships with priests, other seminarians. You need to get the discernment of others to assist you so that they can say things like, I see these qualities in you. I think you would; you may make a great priest.’”
The retreat allowed the young men discerning to see seminarians as Father Edquist described, “to discover that they're human. They're not aliens. They're not just cooped up in a seminary learning to get up at 5 a.m. every day and things like that. They're human, and they still have fun.”
For most, discernment can be overwhelming and daunting. Many see discernment as a giant leap to the priesthood. Father Edquist stressed it’s a journey of smaller steps. “We don't want to just be focused on the end of discernment. When you're 18 years old, that's a lot to think about, but we want to be focused on what's the next step that God is inviting me to in this whole process, and to have the courage to take that next step - maybe inviting me to consider seminary, or is he inviting me to take the next step toward a different location?”
Bishop Robert J. McClory was also able to spend time with the group. The young men were able to hear the bishop’s story from being an attorney to his calling to the priesthood. The bishop offered words of encouragement and did the consecration prayer to the Sacred Heart.
Seminarian Issac Ford has experienced the impact the retreat can have on those discerning. “I first went to this retreat two years ago now, and that's where I first started really thinking about everything, and now I'm in seminary, so it's really fun,” he said. “It's really made me a more selfless discerner rather than thinking about what I want to do in my life, but more focused on what does God want with my life.”
As a middle child in his family, Ford sees himself as a “middle child” at the retreat. In only week three of seminary, Ford shared, “I'm kind of right in between. I'm learning from those who know more than me and at the same time, I can also teach others. It really is the best of both worlds.”
Closing in on his ordination to the priesthood, Deacon Nicholas Emsing has been there, done that. His hope for fellow seminarians and those discerning is to share his experiences.
He said, “What I hope to offer them is a witness of Christian joy, a witness of this life, that you can have fun, you can enjoy each other's company and be happy – you can enter into it without any hesitations, without fear.”
Deacon Emsing reiterated how the retreat fosters a fraternal bond and reassures fellow seminarians and discerners that they are not walking the journey alone.
“Retreats make you remember that you're not alone,” he said. “You're with brothers who are asking the same kinds of questions you are, who are having the same kinds of experiences as you are, who are just of similar minds. You have people who are journeying with you.”
For 16-year-old Henry Lee, the thought of discerning between a vocation to the priesthood or to married life can be nerve-racking, while also considering college and careers. The retreat has helped put things into perspective for him.
“I would say less that it's complicated. I think it's actually made it a little easier because the retreat really opened me up to what both sides look like,” said Lee. “So, it's less of a hard decision now because there's less confusion about what one side might be versus the other.”
He shared that time spent with the seminarians has helped, stating, “It's really relaxing to hear about their own experiences and their emotions after having been through all of it. It's good to know that there are people who've already been through it.”
As for his future, Lee said the retreat has helped him focus on how to best discern and not get overwhelmed. “It's definitely a big choice for me still, and it's something that I need to continue praying on – and I have been for a while. So, I just need to listen for the voice of the Lord and see where He leads me,” he said.
Capton: Seminarians and discerners take a Rosary walk during the three-day Quo Vadis? Where are you going Discernment retreat at Camp Lawrence on August 3. (Deacon Bob Wellinski photo)
