MERRILLVILLE – A man’s daughter is getting married, and he is worried about how he will pay for the wedding. A couple hopes to hold their premature baby for the first time. A woman is concerned because physicians noticed something on her mammogram. A family arrives at the hospital to say goodbye to a loved one who is terminally ill.
Those situations shared in a video produced by Cleveland Clinic describe some of the circumstances people may be dealing with that others they meet may not be aware of. That video was shared at the beginning of a Coffee and Conversation event held at the Diocese of Gary Pastoral Center on Jan. 25.
“You don’t know what you don’t know,” said Lisa Curley, coordinator for hospitality and pre-evangelization for the Diocese of Gary. “You could be walking in the door of the church and greeting someone and one of those situations is going on.”
Curley asked those in attendance to consider how important the term “hospitality" is pertaining to what they do everyday in their church, in their job and in their life.
“It is the most important thing that we do,” she added. “We need to recognize that people in our parishes, in our jobs, need to feel loved.”
Claudia Sadowski, Ph.D., diocesan coordinator for intercultural ministry, continued the conversation through her presentation “Fostering Empathetic Relationships in Ministry.” After asking those gathered to introduce themselves, she commended them for making the effort to be at the session on a Saturday morning.
“Everyone has a big smile when talking about their own ministry and that’s a huge blessing,” she said. “You obviously have a passion for what you’re doing.”
During her talk, Sadowski focused on pastoral methodology which asks those involved in ministry: 1) To see: What do we already know about the community and what are the demographics? 2) To illuminate: What does the Catholic Church and Scripture have to say? and 3) To act: Now that we know what we know, what can we do about it?
Sadowski said it is very important to take time to consider who are the members of the community and who are not; who are the people not at Mass and why are they not there. She shared that those are important questions to begin with in order to ensure parishes are being welcoming. Once a church knows that basic information, she stated, it can begin to look at the needs of the people, such as if there are individuals with special needs, those in wheelchairs or those who speak different languages.
“If we know who they are and we are ready to serve them, then we can ask if we are serving them correctly,” she said.
Sadowski admits that hospitality in itself is a huge topic and it would be difficult to address every aspect of it, but she shared five main areas: 1) The power of empathy in ministry 2) Meeting people where they are 3) Active and compassionate listening 4) Cultivating intercultural sensitivity and 5) Reflecting Christ’s compassion in our actions.
“Are we cultivating a culture where young people feel comfortable?” she asked. “Are we still cultivating a culture with the elderly? Are we cultivating a culture where families feel comfortable with each other?”
Sadowski noted that what may seem like small things, such as making sure greeters represent the demographic of the congregation, being able to guide someone in a wheelchair to a designated comfortable area, or even just a simple smile and “hello” can go a long way.
Liz Bushemi, an active parishioner of Our Lady of Consolation in Merrillville, reflected on the time she welcomed a family to Sunday Mass and offered the child a rosary. After the service was over she inquired if the celebrant, Father Steven Caraher, had a moment to bless the rosary for the girl and he did.
“You know, it made a difference to her,” she said. “It’s the little things like that I think help them want to come back to church.”
Through the Office of Missionary Discipleship and Evangelization, the diocese is continuing to offer support to parishes in Northwest Indiana on the topic of hospitality. An upcoming May event will focus on “Being Humble Servants,” which will be followed by two other programs scheduled for August and November. For more information, email Lisa Curley at lcurley@dcgary.org.
“I believe that when someone hears or many churches frame out a traditional ‘hospitality ministry,’ they immediately go to door openers, ushers, and doughnut Sunday volunteers. That’s simply not the case. Every person that belongs to a parish takes a part in this ministry by default of belonging,” Curley said.
She continued, “Some just smile and say ‘Hi,’ some are in religious education, some are paid parish staff, and some are just friendly people that make it easier to belong. Hospitality is pre-evangelization – it is the welcome gate to your church and our faith.”