LAPORTE – There’s no doubt about the tight knitted mother-daughter relationship between Rhea Ferrell and her daughter, Kenzie Covarrubias. As they sat on the couch sharing their thoughts and experiences of motherhood, they sounded more like sisters. Their perpetual smiles and deep-seeded joy day in and day out radiate their love of each other, motherhood, family, and their faith.
“Looking back, it’s a miracle, a tremendous amount of grace,” said a soft-spoken Ferrell. Ferrell shared how she went from a home with relatively no mother figure to a home exemplifying a mother’s unconditional love. That unconditional love has been pushed to the limits caring for two special needs children, which has also given Covarrubias an example to emulate.
Ferrell and her husband, Don, are Holy Family parishioners with five children: Jake (41), Dan (36), Kenzie (35), Noel (31), JohnPaul (23), and Anna (19). Kenzie and her husband, Julian, also Holy Family parishioners, have five children as well. They include Owen, Max, Alice, Josephine, and Phoebe with ages ranging between 2 to 13 years old.
Ferrell was the youngest of six children raised by her mom. Circumstances didn’t allow much of a motherly role model in her life. Any hope of a motherly figure vanished when her mother passed when Ferrell was 17 years old. Soon afterward she ran away with her then boyfriend to Louisiana. At age 19, Ferrell became pregnant and gave birth to her first child, Jake.
An unexpected motherly figure would later guide Ferrell as she was baptized Catholic and received her First Communion. “When I became a mother, I knew I wanted to do a good job. I didn’t for a while. I think that’s where the Blessed Mother came in as I started looking at Catholicism. All at once, I didn’t have a motherly role model, but then I had Mary and she became more important,” said Ferrell.
The young mother soon realized motherhood was her vocation. She didn’t know that would entail her heart being pierced years later.
Ferrell recalled when Noel was born, she felt a strong call to return to her Catholic roots. “When Noel was born I felt, ‘What does the world have to offer him?’” she said. “It felt hollow. I called the church office to have Noel baptized and then asked, ‘What do I do to become Catholic?’”
Six months later her faith would be put to the test. Her heart connected with the heart of the Blessed Mother. The family was involved in an automobile accident which caused traumatic brain injury to the 6-month-old Noel. Ferrell recalled how as her son’s condition declined and the local hospital couldn’t provide advanced care, no other hospital wanted to take him. A South Bend hospital finally took him. “It pretty much was a nightmare. I was so grateful he was baptized. It was my saving grace,” said Ferrell.
As Noel battled for life, his mom fought her own battle. “My goal was to walk out into the hallway and tell God that He could take him. I walked out and said, ‘Please don’t take him, please don’t take him.’ It was completely the opposite of what I intended to say. I just remember pleading…(and being comforted in knowing) he’s baptized. That was my rock,” said the tearful mother.
The injuries have left Noel trapped in a young boy’s mindset. “He’s 31 and he does pretty good. Although he does rock our world once in a while,” joked Ferrell.
Covarrubias has since told her mom, “Watching you mother him, and all of us, gave us a great lesson in motherhood. (We learned) a lot about unconditional love – (to love) even if they can’t give you anything back. Noel is a lot of work, but he has given us so much joy.”
Covarrubias feels many parents focus on their children’s achievements, sports, and academics but forget one thing. “Just love your child where they’re at. We didn’t know if Noel was going to be here with us.”
Two more children followed, JohnPaul and Anna. “Anna had problems at the beginning. I’d see a hint, but people would say she’s fine. Moms aren’t dumb we know our kids,” said Ferrell.
Anna was diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome, a rare neuro-genetic disorder that occurs in one in 15,000 births.
“I don’t say she’s a lot of work in a negative way. It’s a fact; she is a lot of work. A spiritual director once told me, ‘When you care for Anna, whatever you have to do, you’re caring for Christ,’” said Ferrell.
Covarrubias reiterated how precious it is to love and care for someone knowing they can’t reciprocate, especially someone like Anna who doesn’t show affection. The way her mom loved and cared for all of her children inspired her.
Covarrubias joyfully recalled since being a little girl, all she wanted to be was a mom. “That’s all I’ve ever known for certain, so now I get to be one and how awesome is that. We both love what we do,” she said.
It’s Covarrubias’s hope that her daughters will treasure motherhood as well. “I love it when they mention wanting to become a mother. I hope they love family life and what we love about our family.”
The mother-daughter bond extended into the delivery room. Covarrubias shared how during the delivery of each of her children, her husband was on one side and her mom was on the other.
Covarrubias shared her thoughts of what it means to be a mother. “Motherhood is raising and forming your children to be good people, but also to live a joyful life. I want my kids to look at life with a lot of joy, even if there is hardship. I think a big part of being a mom is to show them we’re children of God and teaching them that our life is not our own, but we are here temporarily. Ultimately, I want them to be saints.