MUNSTER - “I don’t know why you’re here – if you’re in trouble, men, or if you want to grow in relationship,” said Father Matthew Kauth, as he began his first talk entitled “Foundations of Love” during a diocesan-hosted, married couples retreat Nov. 4 at the Carmelite Shrine in Munster. The priest from the Diocese of Charlotte, North Carolina, mixed humor with deep insight as he quoted the Bible, St. Thomas Aquinas, and C. S. Lewis, advising almost 50 married couples about love – fallen and redeemed.
Father Kauth quoted St. Thomas Aquinas about “never doing anything outside the motivation of love,” and stressed the importance of “willing the good for another,” and wanting more for another.
The visiting priest also explained differences between sensitive love which involves “the body" and deeper, more meaningful rational love involving “the person.” He talked about the importance of a smile, affirmation and the basic desire to be known. A smile communicates: “It’s good that you exist,” he said.
Father Kauth is a long-time friend of Sean Martin, director of Evangelization, Catechesis, and Family Life, whose office of Evangelization hosted the retreat. “I appreciated Father Kauth’s insights into the sacrament of marriage. He packed so much into each talk to ponder for a long time with the Lord and your spouse,” he said.
The other talks were entitled “Fallen Love” and “Redeemed Love.”
“Father Kauth offered theological understanding and then practical tips to bring into our marriage and family life,” Martin said.
Iliana Ortega, parishioner of St. Thomas More, Munster, said she really appreciated Father Kauth's references to the Bible and noted scholars. “His comparisons with the Bible and Scripture and daily life and marriage are wonderful. I have been to other couple’s retreats, but he is going deeper and making deep connections. It’s an eye opener. But it is not difficult to understand. He explains things clearly.”
Ortega and husband Julio Fonseca have been married 10 years. “I saw this on Facebook,” he said. “I was really intrigued by the topics of divine love and marriage and how they go together. I am always looking for this kind of stuff. It is very informative and useful.”
During part of the retreat, the Wedding Feast at Cana was discussed, where Jesus performed his first public miracle. When the wine was exhausted at the celebration, the Blessed Virgin Mary told Jesus, “They have no wine.” Jesus responded, “Woman what concern is this to us? My hour has not yet come.”
She told the servants to “do whatever he tells you.”
Father Kauth explained that Mary left it up to Jesus to make a decision, and that those were her last words in Scripture. He explained that Jesus, calling his mother woman, indicated that she would no longer belong solely to Him; the Blessed Virgin Mary’s role transformed from handmaid to mother to woman – the New Eve, the mother of all the living.
Tom Shumate, a father of seven, said he appreciated Father Kauth’s humor, knowledge and authenticity. “This is a date night, some time with my wife without the kids in which we can learn and grow.”
He and wife Jacqui have been married for 18 years and attend St. Patrick church in Chesterton. “You never stop growing and learning in a relationship. Doing things like this are important for a couple,” Tom Shumate said.
After completing a Bachelor of Sacred Theology at The Catholic University of America, Father Kauth was ordained to the priesthood in 2000. He then served as a parochial vicar, administrator and pastor for six years. During this time, he gained popularity through his lectures with the Catholic Scripture Study International program. He was later sent to Rome to complete a license and doctorate in Moral Theology.
Father Kauth, rector of St. Joseph College Seminary which he helped found in 2016, stressed the importance of praying a daily rosary. He also suggested that a spouse, during prayer, try to bear the sins of his or her spouse, as Jesus bore our sins. This means that a spouse offers those sins back to God as Jesus did with the intent that “I am going to take this for you, not use it against you,” he said.
Jenifer Schreiner and her husband John are Our Lady of Consolation, Merrillville, parishioners who live in Valparaiso. The couple celebrated 28 years of marriage on Oct. 20. “It’s good to have a little renewal and the opportunity to learn things to help us to continue to get closer to each other,” she said. “It is also important to take advantage of the sacraments.”
The day’s events included Mass, as well as opportunities for private prayer, Eucharistic adoration and reconciliation.
“My hope is that the couples who attended would continue to grow in love with each other in the Lord,” said Martin, noting that several participants have already asked the diocese to host more married couple’s retreats. “Personally, I can see why. I also picked up a few practical tips on prayer and sacrifice for my wife and kids.”
Caption: Father Matthew Kauth, from the Diocese of Charlotte, North Carolina, signs a book he wrote while Iliana Ortego and Julio Fonseca enjoy the first course of the family-style lunch served during the Diocesan Married Couples Retreat on Nov. 4. In addition to talks by Father Kauth, the day-long event at the Carmelite Shrine in Munster included Mass, adoration and confession. (Lynda J. Hemmerling photo)