MERRILLVILLE – Keeping Christ at the center of your marriage will ensure it stays strong and faith-filled, Bishop Robert J. McClory told couples sharing a Marriage Date Night on Feb. 10 at Gamba Ristorante.
Hosted by the Diocese of Gary’s Office of Evangelization, Catechesis and Family Life during the U.S. Catholic Conference of Bishops’ National Marriage Week, the annual event brings together Catholic couples for a gourmet meal, fellowship and an inspirational talk that this year featured the prelate.
Speaking to couples married less than two years through more than 50 years, the bishop reflected on the lives of his parents, James and Ann, as an example of a faith-filled marriage. “As a child, I heard my parents (in the morning before my father left for work) pray for each other every day, and it had an effect on me,” he said.
The bishop, who taught Theology and Law of Marriage as a part-time faculty member at Sacred Heart Major Seminary graduate school of theology in Detroit, explained that he has felt privileged to serve for 23 years as the chaplain to a Detroit Team Eight for Teams of Our Lady, a marriage enrichment apostolate. “I got to know all seven of these couples before I entered the seminary,” he added, and they meet monthly using a different book as a theme.
Bishop McClory said he was honored to have Team Eight choose his 2022 pastoral letter, “We Proclaim Jesus as Lord,” as one of their study topics. “They read each section and shared their reflections on how it applies to their life and their marriages,” he said.
Highlighting each of the Ten Principles of Missionary Discipleship he outlined in his Feb. 2, 2022 letter, he encouraged the couples “to become closer to God. Ask the Lord for that.”
Missionary discipleship is God’s work, he added from one of his principles, “but prayer and hard work will be required of all of us,” he explained from another principle. “Joy should be evident in our adventure” of inviting others into a personal encounter with Jesus, the bishop said.
Bishop McClory also shared six “endeavors” – as opposed to obligations – that his Team Eight couples have embraced as they preserve “a basic living of the faith” in their marriages. More than attending Sunday Mass and going to confession, “These are simple methods to live by as a couple to strengthen your marriage. I throw these out as something you may use in your own marriage,” he said.
Starting out by “Listening regularly to the Word of God and (then) turning to God in (daily) personal prayer,” said the bishop, the most important of the six endeavors follow. “Pray together daily as a couple, and when appropriate, with your children as family prayer, and make time each month for a true dialogue, which I call a sit-down. Ask your spouse, ‘How are you doing?’ and get a pulse on the status of your relationship.”
He also suggested choosing some specific points of personal interest to discuss and pray about, and going on a couples retreat once a year, even for just a day.
First-time attendees Norman and Donna Johnson, of Merrillville and Our Lady of Consolation church, agreed they “might try some of the bishop’s ideas.”
“We have a prayer that we say together, but we don’t say it regularly enough,” said Donna Johnson.
Jennifer and Dan Feddeler, of Kouts, and parishioners at All Saints parish in San Pierre, were on “a long overdue date night,” said Jennifer Feddeler. “I liked that the bishop spoke about his parents praying together each day and how it made a big impression on him, because visibility is important (to children),” added the parents of five ranging in age from 22 to 12.
“We bless them each time we are together,” added Dan Feddeler.“We enjoy the time together and having a speaker (to listen to),” said Brianna Pierce, of Crown Point, a St. Mary parishioner who attended with her husband, Ivan Pierce. “It’s good to see other happy couples and, hopefully, learn something.”
Sandra Shrall, of Valparaiso and St. Elizabeth Ann Seton parish, has attended date night before with her husband, Mark Shrall, and agreed it is beneficial “to be around other Catholic couples and enjoy the speaker.”
Closing the evening with prayer for the couples in attendance, Bishop McClory asked God “to renew the power of the sacrament of marriage in these lives.”
The observances of National Marriage Week (Feb. 7-14) and World Marriage Day (Sunday, Feb. 12), according to the USCCB, are “an opportunity to focus on building a culture of life and love that begins with supporting and promoting marriage and the family.
“This year's theme, ‘Marriage...one flesh, given and received,’ highlights the one-flesh union of husband and wife that is willed by God. It also indicates the personal self-gift of each spouse, one to the other. These concepts point to Christ, who gives himself under the appearance of bread and wine – as real flesh and blood.”