MERRILLVILLE – Concentrate more on what brings you happiness than what stresses you out during the Christmas season and you will find peace and joy with family and friends and come closer to God.
That’s the message shared by Paul Jarzembowski, a Dyer native and associate director for the laity with the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, who discussed his new book, “Hope for the Holidays,” at a dinner program hosted by the Diocese of Gary and parishes from Merrillville, Crown Point, Schererville and St. John on Nov. 19 at Our Lady of Consolation.
“Our faith tells us that the Cross does not have the final word. The resurrection will come,” Jarzembowski told an audience of more than 100. “Our desolation will never have the final answer, which is eternal life.”
To grasp “Hope for the Holidays,” Jarzembowski first asked, “What do you look forward to during the holidays?” and evoked answers that included family, Christmas lights, music, food and liturgies.
Next, he posed the question, “What is most stressful about the holidays?” and laughter ensued when an audience member again shouted “family.” Among other answers were traffic, shopping, weather and navigating the holidays without loved ones.
“You are not alone,” Jarzembowski assured his audience. “We are seeing more and more (stress) with that year-end drive to get in as much work before taking off for the holidays and trying to create perfection. We can overwhelm ourselves when we try to be perfect.”
It becomes a tug-of-war, he suggested between “desolation” and “consolation.”
“First, we are moving away from God’s presence in the world (and toward desolation through) isolation, fatigue, fear – living in a world at war and so polarized in our culture,” he said. In contrast, Jarzembowski noted, consolation offers “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control and generosity – drawing closer to and being open to different people and cultures.
“Adventing, or anticipating what is yet to come,” said Jarzembowski, is amplified during the holidays, “when we experience some of the greatest highs and lows of the year.”
Using his family photo albums, Jarzembowski asked his audience to “Think back to your own past holidays … for the sights, smells and sounds. Who are the people beside you? What emotions begin to touch your heart? What brings joy, warmth or nostalgia?
“Love always wins – stories from our past show us that one way to find hope in the midst of holiday stress is to tap back into our past,” he explained. “God gives us family to remind us that we are never alone, don’t have to face the world alone.”
Holidays like All Saints Day, All Souls Day, Thanksgiving and Dia de Los Muertos “remind us that we are part of a larger community,” Jarzembowski added. “What are some cultural customs you remember from your family?”
Hope, suggested Jarzembowski, “is believing there is something coming tomorrow that is better than today. It seems like a wish, but no, it is like going toward the light. There was something (important) in ancient times about fighting against the darkness.”
That prompted Ryan Tremblay, an international singer/songwriter and recording artist from Nashville, Tenn., to lead the gathering in “Christ, Be Our Light,” one of several hymns he used to enhance Jarzembowski’s presentation.
Jarzembowski suggested three ways people can “bring that holiday joy to life:”
1. Share your favorite childhood or culturally connected holiday food by bringing it to a holiday party or office potluck and start a conversation about it. “It can tell a story about your past and then you can tap into your roots,” he said.
2. Celebrate name days in your household or among your friends at any time of year. “Your name day – St. Paul or St. John – connect us back to our community of faith,” he noted.
3. Unpack the spiritual connection with your favorite holiday movies, “whether it be ‘Die Hard’ or ‘White Christmas,’” Jarzembowski urged. “Watch it with family and talk about what brings you joy (about the movie) and why, and how it draws you into something deeper.”
Jarzembowski also offered his listeners a litany of positive statements that embrace faithfulness:
-“God’s grace is embedded in our story,
-God’s love is within our homes, through our families and loved ones,
-God can be found in all things,
-God is especially on the margins – in the poor and suffering in society,
-God is fully present in the Eucharist and in our communities of faith.”
Noting that most Sundays draw only 24 percent of declared Catholics to Mass while Christmas Day brings 72 percent to church, Jarzembowski issued a plea to “every Sunday” parishioners to welcome to church the neighbors they may not see the rest of the year. “We should be overjoyed (that they came) – even if they sit in our (regular) pew – and smile at them. I ask you to give them your peace; we don’t know their story,” he said.
“We hope this program prepares us all for the Advent season,” said Father Ted Mauch, pastor, who welcomed the assemblage to Our Lady of Consolation.
“What a wonderful topic,” said Maureen Wozniak, a parishioner at St. John the Evangelist in St. John and a cousin to Jarzembowski. “The subject really intrigued my husband, David, and I, especially as we’re heading into Thanksgiving. We also don’t get to see Paul very much, so it was an ideal opportunity.”
Attendees were delighted when Jarzembowski, who early in his talk asked them each to write on a piece of paper both “something you truly love about this time of year, and one thing that really stresses you out,” asked at the end of the evening for each person to exchange their notes with a stranger in the room. “Take home someone else’s desolation and consolation, and pray for them,” he urged.
“God said, ‘I will be with you always,’ and he will, but that starts with all of us,” Jarzembowski added.
Jarzembowski’s book, “Hope for the Holidays,” is published by Paulist Press and copies are available at https://www.paulistpress.com/.
Caption: Paul Jarzembowski (right), a Dyer native currently working for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops in Washington, DC, chats with cousins David (left) and Maureen Wozniak, parishioners at St. John the Evangelist in St. John., before sharing some ways to reduce stress during the hectic holiday season as told in his new book, "Hope for the Holidays." Jarzembowski spoke to more than 100 people at a dinner program sponsored by the Diocese of Gary and parishes in Merrillville, Crown Point, Schererville and St. John on Nov. 19 at Our Lady of Consolation in Merrillville. (Marlene A. Zloza photo)