Diocese of Gary

GARY – During a special service that marked Father’s Day and celebrated milestone anniversaries of couples throughout the Diocese of Gary, Bishop Robert J. McClory presided over Mass and led them through an anniversary blessing at the Cathedral of the Holy Angels.

During the homily on June 21, Bishop McClory reflected on the blessing of Pope Leo XIV, who grew up in the Calumet region. Turning to remarks made by Pope Leo earlier that day, the bishop noted that the Holy Father spoke about his family life and what he witnessed in the marriage of his mother and father. 

Reciting the words of Pope Leo, the bishop read, “There are some things I remember very well.
I trusted my parents deeply. I remember some conversations with my father. He would speak from his experience about things like the importance of intimacy between himself and my mother, and how essential closeness to Christ is in a vocation to the priesthood – to truly know Jesus and to know the love of God in life for all Christians.”

He continued, “Even though I've heard the same ideas a hundred times from priests and the people who formed me, when my father said in a very human, but deeply meaningful way, I thought I have to listen to this.”

Bishop McClory acknowledged it can be very easy to be concerned about the material necessities, including bills, jobs and chores. While those things are deserving of attention, the bishop said, what really matters is having trust in God and the belief that no matter what, “He’s got us. We are going to be okay.” 

“The most important things in life are those things that lead us to our eternal destiny, and that give real meaning,” he said. 

Bishop McClory said the beauty of the sacrament of marriage is that God is in the midst of the love between a husband and a wife. To enter into marriage is a tremendous act of trust, he said, not just in the other, but in God. 

“It’s saying, ‘God. I trust that you love me enough that this spouse of mine is the one that you want me to have and that our eternal destiny is going to be infused with your love.”

While one can never enter into marriage knowing all the situations one will face, Bishop McClory stated that there is the belief that “God loves us enough to see us through.”

The bishop explained that in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the sacraments are divided into those that bestow graces and those that provide healing. In addition, the sacrament of Holy Orders and Matrimony are linked in a third category as “sacraments at the service of communion.”

“The catechism tells us that Holy Orders and Matrimony are directed toward the salvation of others,” he said. “If they contribute as well to personal salvation, it is through service to others that they do so. They confer a particular mission in the Church, and serve to build up the people of God.”

The bishop added, “You have a better chance of making it to heaven because of the one to whom you're married and vice versa.” 

Bishop McClory shared that there is work in marriage, but there is also joy and blessing, even if it takes a while and takes a sustained commitment. 

“May all of us, married or otherwise, know that the Lord has placed us at the service of others and in our vocation find a way to do it, and may you who are married and celebrating these anniversaries today experience the joy of your married years of life together, and be renewed in your commitment to do what is truly loving – to love God, but to love the other in light of God's love for you,” he said.

Approximately 57 couples then stood to renew promises to each other and ask for God’s continued intercession in their lives. Together they recited, “Blessed are you, Lord, for in the good and the bad times of our life you have stood loving by our side. Help us, we pray, to remain faithful in our love for one another, so that we may be true witnesses to the covenant you have made with humankind.”

Michael and Mary Ragno met in their 20s at a bar and have been together ever since. They arrived at the cathedral to celebrate their 53 years of marriage. The couple, originally from Johnstown, Penn., moved to Northwest Indiana to be closer to job opportunities within the steel mills. They continue to reside in Lake Station and currently attend Mass at Our Lady Queen of Martyrs in Merrillville and Nativity of Our Savior in Portage.

Michael Ragno joked that during their marriage, he has learned there are times when it's important to be a “bobble head” and say yes to whatever his wife may want.

Mary Ragno noted she appreciates that he listens and is patient. “He’s so good to me,” she added.

The couple keeps faith an important part of their lives. Mary noted that she “drags him into church all the time.” They also pray the Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet together almost every day. 

Mary Ragno added that she was also grateful Michael gave her the opportunity to visit Rome in 2006. For a period of 10 days, she visited a variety of churches while in Italy and was there during the canonization of Mother Theodore Guérin, the only saint to reside in Indiana. 

“I like to go to church every day, and there's over 5,000 churches there,” she said.

Their advice to any couple is to go to church on Sundays or Saturdays, or whenever they can, and “Keep the faith. That'll get you through it.”

Kevin and Lindsay Nunn, of Crete, Ill., were celebrating 45 years of marriage. They first met in 1979 at Illinois State University. Once engaged, they went home to tell their parents and learned that their families had been neighbors for several years before they were born.

“So I married the boy next door,” Lindsay said with a smile.

Lindsay explained that her husband had great faith, and while she was a believer, it was his faith that drew her deeper into her own spiritually. The couple attends St. John the Evangelist in St. John and said that relying on God has “absolutely” been an important part of their marriage. 

Lindsay Nunn said that in marriage, it's essential to have loyalty and trust. She pointed out that “love is sacrificial,” adding it's important to do the little things for each other, such as making the bed, putting laundry away the same day and keeping up with washing the dishes.

“People always say, ‘Marriage is work,’ and ‘Marriage is hard.’ It's not. If you marry the right person, it’s the easiest thing ever,” she said.

Warren and Denise Ellis have been married for 50 years. For most of their marriage, Warren was working in education Monday through Friday, while Denise did shift work as a nurse. The difference in their daily schedules helped them appreciate the opportunities when they did get to spend time together.

Warren Ellis still recalls the advice he received at their wedding reception. A friend told him, “My best advice to give you is no advice at all.” He interpreted that to mean there is no single piece of advice that works for every marriage. 

“Sometimes you learn by the seat of your pants as you go along,” he said.

Denise Ellis said in their relationship, she has learned patience, humility and “knowing that you're not always right.”